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THE ROAD TO USA-MEXICO-CANADA: My guide to all 211 FIFA nations in the FIFA World Cup

The 3-year journey that was the 2022 World Cup was full of magical moments of magic, but this doozy from the Uganda vs Mali qualifier in the second round of African qualifying back in September 2021, when some guy decided to stand directly in front of the main camera, blocking the view for over two whole minutes as the match was being broadcast on live TV, even with all the greatness that went down at the FIFA World Cup Qatar 2022, will always and forever be THE moment of the 2022 FIFA World Cup

With the first ever summer World Cup now in the books, the 2026 FIFA World Cup in USA, Canada and Mexico is approaching like a steam train at St Petersburg’s Moskovsky Railway Station about to run down and flatten Anna Karenina. And wow, it promises to be a real doozy.ย 

World Cup history is a tale resplendent with stories of triumph against the odds, childhood dreams coming true and unsung heroes becoming legends. As well as dumb idiot losers, wanker fuck ups and teams that are just total bullshit.

But how shall ye learn about these legends, losers and teams that are just total bullshit? Well look no further my wayward friend, as here I profile all 211 FIFA nations about to embark on the 2026 World Cup journey.

AFRICA (CAF)

๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ฟ ALGERIA

๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ด ANGOLA

๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ฏ BENIN

๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ผ BOTSWANA

๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ซBURKINA FASO

๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ฎ BURUNDI

๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ฒ CAMEROON

๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ป CAPE VERDE

๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ซ CENTRAL AFRICAN REPUBLIC

๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ฉ CHAD

๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ฒ COMOROS

๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ฌ CONGO

๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ฏ DJIBOUTI

๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ฉ DR CONGO

๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡ฌ EGYPT

๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ถ EQUATORIAL GUINEA

๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡ท ERITREA

๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฟ ESWATINI

๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡น ETHIOPIA

๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ฆ GABON

๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ฒ GAMBIA

๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ญ GHANA

๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ณ GUINEA

๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ผ GUINEA-BISSAU

๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ฎ IVORY COAST

๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ช KENYA

๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡ธ LESOTHO

๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡ท LIBERIA

๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡พ LIBYA

๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฌ MADAGASCAR

๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ผ MALAWI

๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฑ MALI

๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ท MAURITANIA

๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡บ MAURITIUS

๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฆ MOROCCO

๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฟ MOZAMBIQUE

๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฆ NAMIBIA

๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ช NIGER

๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฌ NIGERIA

๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡ผ RWANDA

๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡น SรƒO TOMร‰ & PRINCIPE

๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ณ SENEGAL

๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡จ SEYCHELLES

๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฑ SIERRA LEONE

๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ด SOMALIA

๐Ÿ‡ฟ๐Ÿ‡ฆ SOUTH AFRICA

๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ธ SOUTH SUDAN

๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฉ SUDAN

๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ฟ TANZANIA

๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ฌ TOGO

๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ณ TUNISIA

๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ฌ UGANDA

๐Ÿ‡ฟ๐Ÿ‡ฒ ZAMBIA

๐Ÿ‡ฟ๐Ÿ‡ผ ZIMBABWE

ASIA (AFC)

๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ซ AFGHANISTAN

๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡บ AUSTRALIA

๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ญ BAHRAIN

๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ฉ BANGLADESH

๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡น BHUTAN

๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ณ BRUNEI

๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ญ CAMBODIA

๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ณ CHINA

๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ผ CHINESE TAIPEI

๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡บ GUAM

๐Ÿ‡ญ๐Ÿ‡ฐ HONG KONG

๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ณ INDIA

๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ฉ INDONESIA

๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ท IRAN

๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ถ IRAQ

๐Ÿ‡ฏ๐Ÿ‡ต JAPAN

๐Ÿ‡ฏ๐Ÿ‡ด JORDAN

๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ผ  KUWAIT

๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ฌ KYRGYSTAN

๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡ฆ LAOS

๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡ง LEBANON

๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ด MACAU

๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡พ MALAYSIA

๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ป MALDIVES

๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ณ MONGOLIA

๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฒ MYANMAR

๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ต NEPAL

๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ต NORTH KOREA

๐Ÿ‡ด๐Ÿ‡ฒ OMAN

๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ฐ PAKISTAN

๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ธ PALESTINE

๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ญ PHILIPPINES

๐Ÿ‡ถ๐Ÿ‡ฆ QATAR

๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฆ SAUDI ARABIA

๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฌ SINGAPORE

๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ท SOUTH KOREA

๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡ฐ SRI LANKA

๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡พ SYRIA

๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ฏ TAJIKISTAN

๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ญ THAILAND

๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ฑ TIMOR-LESTE

๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ฒ TURKMENISTAN

๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ช UNITED ARAB EMIRATES

๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ฟ UZBEKISTAN

๐Ÿ‡ป๐Ÿ‡ณ VIETNAM

๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡พ YEMEN

CENTRAL AMERICA, NORTH AMERICA & THE CARIBBEAN (CONCACAF)

๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ฎ ANGUILLA

๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ฌ ANTIGUA AND BARBUDA

๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ผ ARUBA

๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ธ THE BAHAMAS

๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ง BARBADOS

๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ฟ BELIZE

๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ฒ BERMUDA

๐Ÿ‡ป๐Ÿ‡ฌ BRITISH VIRGIN ISLANDS

๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ฆ CANADA

๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡พ CAYMAN ISLANDS

๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ท COSTA RICA

๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡บ CUBA

๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ผ CURAร‡AO

๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ฒ DOMINICA

๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ด DOMINICAN REPUBLIC

๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ป EL SALVADOR

๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ฉ GRENADA

๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡น GUATEMALA

๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡พ GUYANA

๐Ÿ‡ญ๐Ÿ‡น HAITI

๐Ÿ‡ญ๐Ÿ‡ณ HONDURAS

๐Ÿ‡ฏ๐Ÿ‡ฒ JAMAICA

๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฝ MEXICO

๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ธ MONTSERRAT

๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฎ NICARAGUA

๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ฆ PANAMA

๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ท PUERTO RICO

๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ณ SAINT KITTS & NEVIS

๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡จ SAINT LUCIA

๐Ÿ‡ป๐Ÿ‡จ SAINT VINCENT & GRENADINES

๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ท SURINAME

๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡น TRINIDAD & TOBAGO

๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡จ TURKS & CAICOS ISLANDS

๐Ÿ‡ป๐Ÿ‡ฌ US VIRGIN ISLANDS

๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ USA

EUROPE (UEFA)

๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ฑ ALBANIA

๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ฉ ANDORRA

๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ฒ ARMENIA

๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡น AUSTRIA

๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ฟ AZERBAIJAN

๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡พ BELARUS

๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ช BELGIUM

๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ฆ BOSNIA & HERZEGOVINA

๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ฌ BULGARIA

๐Ÿ‡ญ๐Ÿ‡ท CROATIA

๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡พ CYPRUS

๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ฟ CZECH REPUBLIC

๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ฐ DENMARK

โ˜•๏ธ ENGLAND

๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡ช ESTONIA

๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ด FAROE ISLANDS

๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ฎ FINLAND

๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ท FRANCE

๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ช GEORGIA

๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ช GERMANY

๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ฎ GIBRALTAR

๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ท GREECE

๐Ÿ‡ญ๐Ÿ‡บ HUNGARY

๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ธ ICELAND

๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ช IRELAND

๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ฑ ISRAEL

๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡น ITALY

๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ฟ KAZAKHSTAN

๐Ÿ‡ฝ๐Ÿ‡ฐ KOSOVO

๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡ป LATVIA

๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡ฎ LIECHTENSTEIN

๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡น LITHUANIA

๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡บ LUXEMBOURG

๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡น MALTA

๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฉ MOLDOVA

๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ช MONTENEGRO

๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฑ NETHERLANDS

๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฐ NORTH MACEDONIA

๐Ÿคš๐Ÿป NORTHERN IRELAND

๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ด NORWAY

๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ฑ POLAND

๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡น PORTUGAL

๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡ด ROMANIA

๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡บ RUSSIA*

๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฒ SAN MARINO

๐Ÿฅƒ SCOTLAND

๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡ธ SERBIA

๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฐ SLOVAKIA

๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฎ SLOVENIA

๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡ธ SPAIN

๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ช SWEDEN

๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ญ SWITZERLAND

๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ท TรœRKIYE

๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ฆ UKRAINE

๐Ÿ‰ WALES

*suspended

OCEANIA (OFC)

๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ธ AMERICAN SAMOA

๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ฐ COOK ISLANDS

๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ฏ FIJI

๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡จ NEW CALEDONIA

๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฟ NEW ZEALAND

๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ฌ PAPUA NEW GUINEA

 ๐Ÿ‡ผ๐Ÿ‡ธ SAMOA

๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ง SOLOMON ISLANDS

๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ซ TAHITI

๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ด TONGA

๐Ÿ‡ป๐Ÿ‡บ VANUATU

SOUTH AMERICA (CONMEBOL)

๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ท ARGENTINA

๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ด BOLIVIA

๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ท BRAZIL

๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ฑ CHILE

๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ด COLOMBIA

๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡จ ECUADOR

๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ช PERU

๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡พ PARAGUAY

๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡พ URUGUAY

๐Ÿ‡ป๐Ÿ‡ช VENEZUELA