***I DON’T HAVE FIFA’S PRIOR WRITTEN CONSENT TO USE, TALK, THINK OR EVEN YELL AT RANDOS FROM MY BALCONY ABOUT ANY NAMES, COUNTRIES OR EVENTS MENTIONED IN MY FIFA WORLD CUP QATAR 2022 COVERAGE, SO FOR COPYRIGHT REASONS FROM HERE ON IN, THE EVENT WILL BE REFERRED TO AS QLAMQTAR 2022.***

The Qlamqtar 2022 World Cup’s only about 14 moons away (depending on your own set of lunar circumstances), and the first ever World Cup held in the Arab world promises to be a real doozy. World Cup history is a tale resplendent with stories of triumph against the odds, childhood dreams coming true and unsung heroes becoming legends. As well as dumb idiot losers, wanker fuck ups and teams that are just total bullshit.

But how shall ye learn about these legends, losers and teams that are just total bullshit? Well look no further my wayward friend as I profile all 211 FIFA nations eligible for World Cup qualification. Today, I take a look at Hungary, which has qualified for the World Cup nine times. 

 

 

HUNGARY
If we couldn’t do it in 1954, honestly, what’s the point of even trying anymore

Nickname: Magyarok (Magyars)/Nemzeti Tizenegy (National Eleven)
FIFA Ranking: 36 (October 2022)
FIFA World Cup 2022 Qualification result: Failed to qualify

Hungarians still haven’t escaped the demons of their failed 1954 world cup campaign (where they lead Germany 2-0 in the final, before shitting the bed and ultimately losing 3-2) and to this day are haunted by the ghosts of their greatest ever player, Ferenc Puskas wherever they look. So if they had arguably the best team ever assembled in football back then and still blew it, seriously what chance do they ever have of any success now, or in the future? Probably just best to pack it all in now, Hungary.

One to watch: Any non-whites

Keep an eye on any non-white players that play against them. That is, only if you don’t mind… Just, you know, maybe you could just check on them for me every few minutes?… Just to be safe. Thanks a lot.

The highpoint: Runners-up, 1954 World Cup😞

1954. Oh God, 1954. Why? Why? Why??? Goddddddddd….. They had it. Hungary had it. It was in the bag. Oh god. 1954… excuse Hungary, Hungary has something in its eye, that it’s had for 68 years and is going to have it until it reaches another final, if it ever does, which it most likely wont. And that makes it even worse. Oh god, excuse Hungary, it needs some fresh air. *welp* 😫😭

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Upcoming matches
World Cup Qualifying | Europe Group I

Oct 9
Hungary 🇭🇺 x 🇦🇱  Albania

Oct 12
England 🦁  x🇭🇺  Hungary

Nov 12
Hungary 🇭🇺  x 🇸🇲  San Marino