***I DON’T HAVE FIFA’S PRIOR WRITTEN CONSENT TO USE, TALK, THINK OR EVEN YELL AT RANDOSFROM MY BALCONY ABOUT ANY NAMES, COUNTRIES OR EVENTS MENTIONED IN MY FIFA WORLD CUP QATAR 2022 COVERAGE, SO FOR COPYRIGHT REASONS FROM HERE ON IN, THE EVENT WILL BE REFERRED TO AS QLAMQTAR 2022.***
The Qlamqtar 2022 World Cup’s only about 12 moons away (depending on your own set of lunar circumstances) and the first ever World Cup held in the Arab world promises to be a real doozy. World Cup history is a tale resplendent with stories of triumph against the odds, childhood dreams coming true and unsung heroes becoming legends. As well as dumb idiot losers, wanker fuck ups and teams that are just total bullshit.
But how shall ye learn about these legends, losers and teams that are just total bullshit? Well look no further my wayward friend as I profile all 211 FIFA nations eligible for World Cup qualification. Today, I take a look at Andorra, which is yet to qualify for the World Cup.
ANDORRA
On Fire
Nickname: The Tricolours
FIFA Ranking: 153 (Oct 2021)
Although Les Tricolours has only won 5 competitive matches in its history, lately the team’s on the up and up. And this is mainly due to harnessing the power of greater experience, improved facilities and most recently, fire. Historically one of international football’s minnows, the team even once lost to St Kitts & Nevis in the Sugar Boyz’ first ever match on European soil. Yet in recent years, results for the Andorrans have been much more encouraging (even verging on impressive) and after recently holding Euro 2020 runner-up England early in a recent qualifier, opposition teams are increasingly dreading the trip to the fiery cauldron that is Andorra’s Estadi Nacional. While eventually losing 5-0 to the English, the home team were still audacious enough to throw everything at the 3 Lions, and despite their best attempts to incinerate them by starting a towering inferno, unfortunately for Andorra FIFA regulations do not include a tactical provision whereby a team may attempt to determine a match by engulfing the opposition in flames.
One(s) to watch: Fuel + Oxygen + Heat
Together, these three elements make up Andorra’s most dangerous threat and should opposition sides underestimate the danger posed by the combination of these three key players, the Tricolours are sure to light ’em up.
The highpoint: World Cup 2022 qualifying – Two wins, qualifying for 2022 World Cup and putting the fire out
Did you hear the news? Andorra didn’t just win one match in qualifying for the 2022 World Cup, it won two! Yeah so it was against San Marino, but come onnnnnn…. you know?!… Cmonnnnnn.
Equally as impressive during this, Andorra’s most impressive World Cup qualification campaign, was the fire department’s extinguishment of the conflagration that almost burned its only stadium to a crisp.
Learn the lingo & speak like a local!
Upcoming matches
World Cup Qualifying | Group I
Nov 12
Andorra 🇦🇩 x 🇵🇱 Poland
Nov 15
Albania 🇦🇱 x 🇦🇩 Andorra