***I DON’T HAVE FIFA’S PRIOR WRITTEN CONSENT TO USE, TALK, THINK OR EVEN YELL AT RANDOS FROM MY BALCONY ABOUT ANY NAMES, COUNTRIES OR EVENTS MENTIONED IN MY FIFA WORLD CUP QATAR 2022 COVERAGE, SO FOR COPYRIGHT REASONS FROM HERE ON IN, THE EVENT WILL BE REFERRED TO AS QLAMQTAR 2022.***

The Qlamqtar 2022 World Cup’s only about 14 moons away (depending on your own set of lunar circumstances), and the first ever World Cup held in the Arab world promises to be a real doozy. World Cup history is a tale resplendent with stories of triumph against the odds, childhood dreams coming true and unsung heroes becoming legends. As well as dumb idiot losers, wanker fuck ups and teams that are just total bullshit.

But how shall ye learn about these legends, losers and teams that are just total bullshit? Well look no further my wayward friend as I profile all 211 FIFA nations eligible for World Cup qualification. Today, I take a look at Syria, which is yet to qualify for a World Cup.

SYRIA
Just didn’t worship hard enough in 2018 Qualifying

Nickname: Nosour Qasioun نسور قاسيون, (‘Qasioun eagles’)
FIFA Ranking: 90 (October 2022)
FIFA World Cup 2022 Qualification result: Failed to qualify

In 2017, Syria faced Australia in the 2018 AFC World Cup qualifying playoffs. Late in extra time of the second leg in Sydney in October 2017, the Syrians trailed 2-1 but needed just one more goal to send them through to the final qualification playoff against Honduras. Awarded a free kick about 35 yards from goal, Omar Al Soma along with his teammates, took a moment to pray for direct intervention from Allah. Sadly, Al Soma struck the base of the post and the ball ricocheted away from goal, and only a few seconds later the referee blew the final whistle, giving Australia the victory. This could only mean one thing: the Syrian team were just not good enough Muslims and in those moments before the free kick did not worship hard enough. Otherwise Allah would’ve definitely nudged Al Soma’s strike 10 or so inches to the left.

One to watch: Allah Almighty

Will Allah just be cool this time and grant the Qasioun Eagles their wish for World Cup qualification? Keep an eye on His bright light for a response, and if not, then okay, yep, okay, blah blah blah, once again it’s part of his divine plan and yes He is great and Syria will just have to try qualify in another 4 years, in sh’Allah.

The highpoint: The 0.00001 second before hitting the post, final minute, Australia-Syria, World Cup 2018 qualifying

At Stadium Australia in 2017, Syria was a bee’s dick away from knocking out Australia and advancing to a final intercontinental playoff against Honduras, for a shot at reaching its first ever World Cup. Unfortunately the diameter of internationally approved goalposts is 4 or 5 inches and not 3, and the posts are 8 yards, and not 8.1 yards apart.

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Upcoming matches
World Cup Qualifying | Third Round | Group A

Oct 12
Syria  🇸🇾  x 🇱🇧  Lebanon

Nov 11
Iraq 🇮🇶  x 🇸🇾  Syria