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Dave Martin

Dave Martin | Sports, stupidity & real-time data analysis ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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  • FAFO: Live streams from events & Live Real-time Data Analysis
  • FIFA WORLD CUP 2026
  • FIFA World Cup 2030
  • ADVENTURE AHOY!
  • ¡POR FAVOR SEÑOR!
  • SPORTS
  • Music
  • ABOUT
  • Fuckin' Get Into It - Internet Explosion!! - News alert!! - Sports!

    Fucking Get Into It, Ya Cunt: OK yeah, so here we go… the Russian Premier football league’s back this weekend so here’s some pics of it and other stuff in Russia too cos yeah girl, get it, you know? Whatever lol Heyyooo

    February 27, 2021 - By Dave

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  • Internet Explosion!! - News alert!! - On Catalunya - on language - On Spain

    Amid Claims by Local Historical Revisionists that Shakespeare, Leonardo Da Vinci and Christopher Columbus Were In Fact From Catalonia, Who or What Else Was Actually Catalan?

    December 30, 2020 - By Dave

    Since its founding fifteen years ago, Catalonian separatist historical revisionist foundation New History Institute (INH) has not pulled any punches in its attempts to challenge some of history’s most well-established facts. Among many of its claims, it asserts that not only were Miguel De Cervantes and William Shakespeare the same person, but that most notably, he was Catalan. Additionally, they posit that Leonardo da Vinci was…

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  • Animal Alert! - Baby Alert! - Internet Explosion!! - News alert!!

    I don’t have any kids but would you mind if I showed you a few photos of the 37 piranhas and over 400 crows I own instead?

    September 3, 2020 - By Dave

    I am childless, so I don’t have any adorable pictures of my kids to share with you. But I do own other things, including 37 Amazonian red-bellied piranhas and over 400 carrion crows, so is it cool if I show you a few pictures of them? Thanks so much, you’re a true friend. Let me know what you think! Here’s one…

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  • Coronavirus! - Internet Explosion!! - News alert!! - Quiz!

    QUIZ: You’re Old! Can You Avoid Getting The Coronavirus and Carry On Living Your Sweet as Fuck Rockstar Life?

    August 4, 2020 - By Dave

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  • ¡Mucho Gusto! - ¡Wine! - Internet Explosion!! - News alert!! - On Barcelona - On Spain

    ¡Mucho Gusto! The Tastes of Spain – Wine Review: The €1.39 Sangria You Can Get From The Shitty Little Supermarket Down The Street In My Fucked Up Gross Neighbourhood

    July 28, 2020 - By Dave

    Ahhhh Spain…. A land of vibrant culture, rich tastes, and loud and occasionally annoying as fuck noises. It’s a country of great complexity and simultaneous simplicity in the sometimes colourful, sometimes charming and sometimes fuck me, goddamn shut the fuck up you cunts types of noises that are emitted from it. But there’s more to Spain than just food and…

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  • FIFA WORLD CUP 2026

    Qlamqtar 2022 FIFA World Cup | Profile | SPAIN: ¡BANG! ¡FUCKING BOOM! MOSTLY JUST FUCKING NOISE ¡BOOM! ¡BOOM! ¡FUCKING BANG! ¡CRACK! ¡POP! ¡BOOM! ¡FUCKING CUNTS!

    June 23, 2020 - By Dave

    ***I DON’T HAVE FIFA’S PRIOR WRITTEN CONSENT TO USE, TALK, THINK OR EVEN YELL AT RANDOS FROM MY BALCONY ABOUT ANY NAMES, COUNTRIES OR EVENTS MENTIONED IN MY FIFA WORLD CUP QATAR 2022 COVERAGE, SO FOR COPYRIGHT REASONS FROM HERE ON IN, THE EVENT WILL BE REFERRED TO AS QLAMQTAR 2022.*** The Qlamqtar 2022 World Cup is only about two…

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  • Chunkyism - Internet Explosion!! - News alert!!

    Local Dumbass Dog Doesn’t Even Realise It’s His Birthday

    April 16, 2020 - By Dave

    BARCELONA, SPAIN–Although his human owner and his girlfriend have been anticipating this day for a week or so now, local dumbass dog, Chunky doesn’t even realise that today is his birthday. Despite the fact that April 16th is the day his owner celebrates his birthday every year (and the date is only a rough estimate noted down by the Dog…

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  • Coronavirus! - Fuckin' Get Into It - Internet Explosion!! - News alert!! - Sports!

    Fuckin’ Get Into It, Cunt #2: Before The Tajikistani Football League Kicks Off Tomorrow, You’ve Just Got To Check Out These Pictures

    April 4, 2020 - By Dave

    Due to the spread of Coronavirus, if you’re a sports fan you may be feeling a large soccer ball/baseball bat/basketball backboard-shaped hole in your life these days. But whow there, we have some good news! Not only are the football leagues of Belarus, Nicaragua and Burundi still in action, but hang on, hold your Asiatic Ibex goats, because one more rickety sports…

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  • Coronavirus! - Fuckin' Get Into It - Internet Explosion!! - News alert!! - Sports!

    Fuckin’ Get Into It, Ya Cunt: Before Round 2 Kicks Off Tomorrow, Here Are 19 of the Greatest Moments in the History of Europe’s Only Remaining Active Football League–Belarus’ Vysheyshaya Liga–That You’ve Just Got To Know About

    March 28, 2020 - By Dave

    * Publisher’s note: Following publication, we have realised that Round 2 of the Belarusian Vysheyshaya Liga actually kicked off last night with FC Energetik BGU Minsk’s 1-0 victory over Rhu Brest and Torpedo Zhodino’s 1-0 defeat of Belshyna Babruisk. We are deeply sorry for this error and would like to sincerely apologise to you, valued reader. Belarus is Europe’s last dictatorship. Hilarious, right?!…

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  • Coronavirus! - Internet Explosion!! - News alert!! - Terrorism Alert!!

    Turn That Frown Upside Down: These 8 Adorable Pictures of the 9/11 World Trade Center Terrorist Attacks Are Sure To Brighten Your Day

    March 21, 2020 - By Dave

    In the midst of everything that’s going on right now, it can be hard to find much to smile about. But don’t worry because we’ve got you covered. Here are 8 adorable pics of the September 11 attacks that are sure to bring a smile to your dial! 1. This is too cute. 2. Nawwwww.   3. These sweetie pies. …

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