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Dave Martin

Dave Martin | Sports + stupidity ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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  • FAFO
  • My World Cup Road Trip – USA, mexico & canada 2026
  • FIFA World Cup 2022
  • ¡POR FAVOR SEÑOR!
  • ADVENTURE AHOY!
  • SPORTS
  • Music
  • ABOUT
  • Internet Explosion!! - News alert!!

    ‘Fuck Off. My life Is Hard, You Don’t Even Know’ Reports Middle-Class, Fluent English-Speaking, White Male With First World Country Citizenship

    January 24, 2019 - By Dave

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  • Cuteness Alert! - Internet Explosion!! - News alert!!

    OMG CUTENESS ALERT: Here Are Some Adorable Pics Of A Few Insanely Cute and Currently Alive Babies

    January 23, 2019 - By Dave

    Babies, am I right?! Nothing gets us going more than a snap of a recently uterine-expelled human to the face of the Earth via the body’s wet criminal ejection most commonly known as pregnancy. So, without further ado, here are photos of some recently born living, breathing skinbags that are otherwise known as babies! Get ready to call the Cuteness police!…

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  • Internet Explosion!! - News alert!! - On Sports

    Tom Brady Once Again Rushed To Hospital After Suffering Panic Attack And Seizure Due To Whole House Being Down To Final Toilet Roll

    January 22, 2019 - By Dave

    BOSTON, MASSACHUSETTS– After wife Giselle Bündchen revealed to him by yelling, ‘Tom, we only have one roll of toilet paper left’ across the hall, New England Patriots Quarterback Tom Brady immediately descended into a full-blown seizure as a result of a panic attack, consequently having to be rushed to hospital. Brady, who is known for his final quarter heroics, suffered…

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  • Internet Explosion!! - News alert!! - On Animals

    Super Intelligent Local Dog Only Enjoys Looking Back On Memories And Looking Forward And Planning Future, Couldn’t Give A Fuck About The Present Moment

    January 21, 2019 - By Dave

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  • Internet Explosion!! - News alert!! - Politics Alert!

    My Say: Donald Trump. (Does That Count As Political Commentary or Satire?)

    January 20, 2019 - By Dave

     MY SAY By Brian McGarnickle       We don’t often get into politics here at Why You Do It, but these are things we perfectly understand: • That the military, security, economical, social and political actions of the most powerful nation in the world is at the whim of one single man; • All the complexities of zeitgeist we…

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  • Internet Explosion!! - News alert!! - On Music

    Musicologists Still Perplexed Why Queen’s Nonsensical ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’ –Containing Such Obscure, Moronic, Completely Not Relatable Lyrics As ‘I Don’t Want To Die, I Sometimes Wish I’d Never Been Born At All’ And ‘Nothing Really Matters… Nothing Really Matters To Me’– Still Popular Today

    January 20, 2019 - By Dave

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  • Internet Explosion!! - Marriage Alert! - My Say - News alert!!

    My Say: Yeah, I’m A Divorced Man And Yeah, I Know All Divorced Men Deserve To Immediately Be Tossed Into The Divorce Volcano Because They Are So Gross And Disgusting And Yuck, But Hang On, Whow There. Before You Kill Me By Hurling Me Into The Divorce Volcano, Hear Me Out, Because Although I Am Now Officially A Wretched Disgusting Garbage Human, I Still Have Some Other Stuff I Can Do And I’m Not Completely Useless to Society (By Dave Martin)

    January 19, 2019 - By Dave

     MY SAY By Dave Martin       A month ago, my divorce was provisionally approved, making me a soon-to-be-divorced man and consequently meaning I deserved to be thrown into the Pit Of Disgusting Divorced Garbage Humans. And today, a month and a day later, it became official, meaning I am now legally divorced. And yeah, I know what you’re thinking:…

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  • Internet Explosion!! - Israel - News alert!!

    Peace declared between Israel and Palestine, ‘Fuck. What The Fuck Are We Supposed To Do Now?’ Declared Across Israeli Newsrooms

    January 18, 2019 - By Dave

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  • Internet Explosion!! - News alert!! - On Self

    Study Confirms You First Person Ever To Be Going Through Whatever You Are Right Now

    January 17, 2019 - By Dave

    NEW ORLEANS, LA–Citing remarkable findings just released today, research scientists at LSU have confirmed that you are the first person ever to be going through the thing you’re going through right now. Monitoring the trials, challenges and difficulties of every person who ever lived, and every person alive today, the research team found that nobody–in the 195,000 year history of homo…

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  • Internet Explosion!! - News alert!! - On Tolstoy - Russia Alert!!

    Russian Government Announces Annual Parade Through Moscow To Honour The Great And Unmatched Length Of Leo Tolstoy’s Books

    January 15, 2019 - By Dave

    MOSCOW, RUSSIA– The federal government of Russia has officially called an annual parade through the streets of Moscow to celebrate the wondrous word length of Leo Tolstoy’s books. Tolstoy, arguably the  writer whose publications contain the most words and pages ever, will be honoured throughout the streets of Moscow later this year on November 22nd, the date of the incredibly long author’s death…

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