Category: News alert!!
Local Man’s Divorce Approved By Family Court, Immediately Thrown Into The Pit Of Disgusting, Divorced Garbage Humans For Rest Of His Miserable LifeLocal Man’s Divorce Approved By Family Court, Immediately Thrown Into The Pit Of Disgusting, Divorced Garbage Humans For Rest Of His Miserable Life
QUEENSLAND, AUSTRALIA–A local man today had his divorce approved by the Family Court of Queensland and–not surprisingly–was immediately tossed into the garbage pit of other gross divorced humans to fester
It Unclear Whether Local Corpse Liked Her Own Funeral (Or Even If Thought It Okay)It Unclear Whether Local Corpse Liked Her Own Funeral (Or Even If Thought It Okay)
SANTA FE, TX–Following a highly-elaborate service that cost over $11,000, it is not clear whether recently deceased and local corpse Trish Walker liked her own funeral, or even thought it
What Else Was Neil Armstrong Considering Saying As He First Stepped On The Moon?What Else Was Neil Armstrong Considering Saying As He First Stepped On The Moon?
We’ve all heard the famous words, That’s one small step for a man, one giant leap for Mankind, but when Neil Armstrong stepped out of Apollo 11 to become the first man
6 First Date Ideas That Aren’t Dinner & A Movie6 First Date Ideas That Aren’t Dinner & A Movie
You know the first date drill: Dinner, drinks and a movie. Boring! If you’ve met someone you’re into and can’t think of anything original to do with them on your first date, here
Myth Shattering: 93% Of Married Couples Report They Have Sex At Least 5,000 Times A DayMyth Shattering: 93% Of Married Couples Report They Have Sex At Least 5,000 Times A Day
Forget all your misconceptions about married couples and how active (or inactive) their sex lives are, because this is going to shock you to your core! Despite the cliché that wedding bells are
Ladies rejoice: Apple Unveils New Series 4 iBiologicalClock Apple Watch So Women Can Be Constantly Reminded Of Sole Purpose In Life And How Long Until Their Life No Longer Worth LivingLadies rejoice: Apple Unveils New Series 4 iBiologicalClock Apple Watch So Women Can Be Constantly Reminded Of Sole Purpose In Life And How Long Until Their Life No Longer Worth Living
All the ladies, put your hands up, because this is going to be music to women’s ears everywhere! Apple has just released their new Apple Watch, the much-anticipated iBiologicalClock which
Lesson Learned: God Announces He Made Jesus Good Down Low In The Post But Bad At Free Throws To Teach Us The Folly Of Assuming That Just Because You’re A Beast In The Block Doesn’t Necessarily Mean You Can Always Finish The And-1Lesson Learned: God Announces He Made Jesus Good Down Low In The Post But Bad At Free Throws To Teach Us The Folly Of Assuming That Just Because You’re A Beast In The Block Doesn’t Necessarily Mean You Can Always Finish The And-1
ZION, THE PROMISED LAND–Responding to inquiries as to why He purposely made Jesus bad at shooting free throws, God Almighty said Monday that the reason he made His Blessed Son garbage
Rad: 11 Awesome Calendar Dates That Only 90s Kids Would Have Been Totally Clinically Alive ForRad: 11 Awesome Calendar Dates That Only 90s Kids Would Have Been Totally Clinically Alive For
If you were alive and breathing and not dead or hadn’t yet been born on these dates, you are so a 90s Kid! Bogus! 4th February, 1997 21st March, 1994 23rd
Study: After initial reports that ‘HOLY FUCKING SHIT FUCK ME FUCK ON PISS AND SHIT ON DICK GOD FUCKING DAMN IT’ Scientists Can Now Confirm ‘FUCKING COME ON YOU MOTHERFUCKER FUCKING YES!!!!’Study: After initial reports that ‘HOLY FUCKING SHIT FUCK ME FUCK ON PISS AND SHIT ON DICK GOD FUCKING DAMN IT’ Scientists Can Now Confirm ‘FUCKING COME ON YOU MOTHERFUCKER FUCKING YES!!!!’
SUNSHINE COAST, AUSTRALIA– In a study published this morning in the Australia Journal of Science, scientists’ initial findings that ‘HOLY FUCKING SHIT FUCK ME FUCK ON PISS AND SHIT ON DICK’
An Open Letter From Albert Camus To Freddie Mercury: “Thanks For Making A Musical Version Of The Outsider With Bohemian Rhapsody, But Dude, Have You Actually Even Read It? Because You Totally Screwed Up Its Timeline.”An Open Letter From Albert Camus To Freddie Mercury: “Thanks For Making A Musical Version Of The Outsider With Bohemian Rhapsody, But Dude, Have You Actually Even Read It? Because You Totally Screwed Up Its Timeline.”
By Albert Camus Hey Freddie Mercury, You know what, fuck you. Bohemian Rhapsody is fucking cool and all, but your attempt at making a musical version of my book The Outsider is
Area Man Eliminated from Life After 110-77 Blowout Loss to Pancreatic CancerArea Man Eliminated from Life After 110-77 Blowout Loss to Pancreatic Cancer
CHULA VISTA, CA–Area Man, Tarek Shearer, 41, has suffered a disappointing loss in the middle stages of his life, losing 110-77 to Pancreatic Cancer. The disease’s comprehensive victory was lead by 33
Running Out The Clock: 11 Things to Do While You Wait to DieRunning Out The Clock: 11 Things to Do While You Wait to Die
Getting conceived as a result of your mother and father making the naked sex into each other, and then being pushed through your mum’s cervix and eventually expelled out her vagina
Exciting: After Everybody on Earth Quits Smoking, Nicotine Replacement Brand Nicorette Releases New Range of Cigarettes and Other Nicotine Re-introduction ProductsExciting: After Everybody on Earth Quits Smoking, Nicotine Replacement Brand Nicorette Releases New Range of Cigarettes and Other Nicotine Re-introduction Products
After it was confirmed earlier this week that everybody on planet earth had quit smoking, CEO of Nicorette’s ownership company GlaxoSmithKline, Emma Walmsley announced Friday that the company is releasing
Heartwarming: “Israel” “President” “Benjamin” “Netanyahu” “Says” “His” “Country” “Wants” “Peace” “Between” “His” “People” “And” “Palestine” “But” “Don’t” “Try” “Us”Heartwarming: “Israel” “President” “Benjamin” “Netanyahu” “Says” “His” “Country” “Wants” “Peace” “Between” “His” “People” “And” “Palestine” “But” “Don’t” “Try” “Us”
“JERUSALEM,” “ISRAEL”– “President” “of” “Israel”, “Benjamin” “Netanyahu” “declared” “that” “his” “country” “is” “receptive” “to” “the” “idea” “of” “peace” “between” “Israel” “and” “Palestinians”. “The” “news” “comes” “after” “Netanyahu” “and” “his” “cabinet”
Not Surprising: Study Confirms Everything Bad Only Happens To YouNot Surprising: Study Confirms Everything Bad Only Happens To You
Get ready to hear something you already know, because scientists have proved that all bad things that ever happen only happen to you. According to a new study published in American Journal
2 Local Women Both In Midst of Fulfilling, Satisfying, Passionate Relationship With Same Man Vie to Not Be The One He Marries2 Local Women Both In Midst of Fulfilling, Satisfying, Passionate Relationship With Same Man Vie to Not Be The One He Marries
In local news, two women both involved in a satisfying relationship with local man, Sam Harris, 44 are both doing their upmost to not be the one he chooses to