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Lesson Learned: God Announces He Made Jesus Good Down Low In The Post But Bad At Free Throws To Teach Us The Folly Of Assuming That Just Because You’re A Beast In The Block Doesn’t Necessarily Mean You Can Always Finish The And-1

ZION, THE PROMISED LAND–Responding to inquiries as to why He purposely made Jesus bad at shooting free throws, God Almighty said Monday that the reason he made His Blessed Son garbage from the line was to teach Humanity the curse of believing that just because you happen to be a machine in the paint, you shouldn’t assume that nailing the bonus every time is a given.

Our Supreme Being said that He could have easily made His son an all round monster in all areas of the game, but He felt that making the Lord absolute trash from the stripe ( shooting less than 55%), would teach Humanity the follies of ‘Judge not, that ye be not judged’, and also that a good post game doesn’t guarantee a shooter’s touch.

At press time, it is unclear why Our Most Beautiful Creator also made The Son of Man an insane offensive rebounder and a sniper from the elbow, but horrific at bounce passes in transition and a pretty shitty guy to be around in the locker room after a road loss.