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Dave Martin

Dave Martin | Sports + stupidity ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

  • FAFO
  • My World Cup Road Trip – USA, mexico & canada 2026
  • FIFA World Cup 2022
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  • ABOUT
  • FAFO
  • My World Cup Road Trip – USA, mexico & canada 2026
  • FIFA World Cup 2022
  • ¡POR FAVOR SEÑOR!
  • ADVENTURE AHOY!
  • SPORTS
  • Music
  • ABOUT
  • HEARTWARMING! - Internet Explosion!! - News alert!!

    HEARTWARMING! Some person somewhere just died for some reason and when told the news, people were saddened and couldn’t say enough nice things about this now-dead person, even though they’d never even known this person’s name, gender, or even that this person actually existed in the first place. WOW, TOUCHING!

    November 4, 2018 - By Dave

    This story will tug right at your heart strings. Someone somewhere just died, and despite approximately 99.99999999999999999% of Earth’s population having no knowledge of the existence of this human, people all across the globe have instantly started sharing their insights and stories about what a wonderful, caring and loving person this anonymous and now dead human man or woman was.…

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  • Internet Explosion!! - It's Official!! - News alert!!

    IT’S OFFICIAL!!! – Apple releases the new iPhone XS Max – ‘Everything you love just got necessarily fucking massive.’

    September 30, 2018 - By Dave

    Just when you thought the images on your screen were as life like and as fucking massive as possible, the iPhone XS Max has made them even more necessarily fucking massiver: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iVe__Py2GuU Every time you take a selfie, or a photo of your cat doing something funny, or a photo with your friends, don’t you always think ‘Man, why can’t…

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  • Internet Explosion!! - It's Official!! - News alert!!

    IT’S OFFICIAL: There’s Officially Nowhere on Planet Earth Left Where You Can Walk Outdoors. The Only Area Left on Earth Available for You to Walk In? A 2m x 2m Patch In Your Living Room.

    September 16, 2018 - By Dave

    Planet Earth has officially run out of any public space bigger than 2m x 2m where you can actually walk. But luckily, this device, which scientists are at the moment referring to as a ‘treadmill’, will solve that problem. Despite planet Earth no longer having a single outdoor area where you can take even two steps forwards or backwards, free…

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  • Internet Explosion!! - News alert!!

    IT’S OFFICIAL!! The Weather Finally Snaps, Guns Down 35 (Killing 21) in Local Shopping Centre, After Being Called ‘Shit’ One Too Many Times

    September 7, 2018 - By Dave

    In today’s news, local natural phenomenon The Weather, 4.5 billion, has wandered into a local shopping centre with an AK-47 and mowed down 35 men, women and children in cold blood. It is believed that the motive for the seemingly unprovoked attack is that The Weather had enough of people calling it ‘shit’, ‘Shitty’ ‘Crap’, ‘Fucking shit’ and a series…

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  • planetas
    Internet Explosion!! - On Life - Why you listen to it

    Sigur Ros isn’t the only thing that makes anything you do seem more meaningful. Also, Los Planetas.

    August 26, 2018 - By Dave

    No matter what you’re doing (or have to do), if you put Sigur Ros on while you do it, it’ll make whatever it is seem way more significant (it might even make whatever bullshit chore you have to do feel a lot less bullshit-y, but more existentially-y, like you’re transcending all time and space, and whatever you’re doing is less like…

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  • Internet Explosion!! - On death - On the Shortness of Life

    The Nike Slogan that didn’t make it.

    March 4, 2018 - By Dave

    One of my students in a nurse. And from where she’s from euthanasia or terminally ill (and sometimes not) patients is legal. A little while ago had a patient who had elected to for the procedure. And when she saw this patient a few weeks before, she was confused as what to say to them, specifically how to say see ya,…

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  • Internet Explosion!! - It's Official!! - News alert!! - On News

    NEWS ALERT: IT’S OFFICIAL!! – Peace confirmed in Middle East after Pope Francis ‘calls’ for it. Moments later, Jews, Muslims, Christians, Sunnis, Shiites across region living in perfect harmony, singing, dancing, marrying each other.

    December 30, 2017 - By Dave

    On Christmas Day, Pope Francis made the customary annual address from the Vatican. In it, he said ‘the winds of war’ are blowing stronger than ever and he called for an end to the fighting and for a two-state solution in Israel to bring peace to the region (War, being an invention of this generation, of course never existed until…

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  • I don't get it - Internet Explosion!!

    How to deal with the most awkward question there is

    May 7, 2017 - By Dave

    Ever been in this situation? — How the HOLY GODDAMN HELL do you reply to that question??? ‘What’s up’? or: or just the polite: My friend Jonesy is one of the people I can rely on in any type of dilemma or crisis (and I have done). He’s also the most sociable person I’ve ever met –there isn’t one social situation…

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