Writing – Page 13 – Dave Martin | Sports. Music. Culture. Every day.

What The Fuck, Spain: So, Turns Out Everything Does Not Go Smoothly When You Move To A New Country Where You Don’t Speak The Language And Have No Idea How Things Work ThereWhat The Fuck, Spain: So, Turns Out Everything Does Not Go Smoothly When You Move To A New Country Where You Don’t Speak The Language And Have No Idea How Things Work There

February 9, 2019| Dave|

MY SAY By Dave Martin CATALUNYA, SPAIN: Seriously Spain, what the fuck. Everyone knows that moving to a new country on a new continent, that speaks two entirely

Recently Relocated Local Man In Spain Can Still Do The English OkayRecently Relocated Local Man In Spain Can Still Do The English Okay

February 4, 2019| Dave|

BARCELONA, SPAIN–Despite concerns that having to learn not one, but two new languages would lead to a deterioration of his native English communicative skills, local man Dave Martin says he can

What’s The Difference? – Travel Me Timbers: Sunshine Coast, Australia Vs Catalunya, SpainWhat’s The Difference? – Travel Me Timbers: Sunshine Coast, Australia Vs Catalunya, Spain

January 31, 2019| Dave|

Thinking of moving country? Or even just time for a holiday? Well, if you’re thinking about the differences between where you live right now (The Sunshine Coast, Australia no doubt)

I Am Chris Martin of Coldplay, Type Anything At Me!I Am Chris Martin of Coldplay, Type Anything At Me!

January 28, 2019| Dave|

Hey Why You Do It, I’m Chris Martin. I’m a musician and this is the first time I’ve done this… So, go ahead, type anything at me, I dare you haha ***This

OMG CUTENESS ALERT: Here Are Some Adorable Pics Of A Few Insanely Cute and Currently Alive BabiesOMG CUTENESS ALERT: Here Are Some Adorable Pics Of A Few Insanely Cute and Currently Alive Babies

January 23, 2019| Dave|

Babies, am I right?! Nothing gets us going more than a snap of a recently uterine-expelled human to the face of the Earth via the body’s wet criminal ejection most commonly

Tom Brady Once Again Rushed To Hospital After Suffering Panic Attack And Seizure Due To Whole House Being Down To Final Toilet RollTom Brady Once Again Rushed To Hospital After Suffering Panic Attack And Seizure Due To Whole House Being Down To Final Toilet Roll

January 22, 2019| Dave|

BOSTON, MASSACHUSETTS– After wife Giselle Bündchen revealed to him by yelling, ‘Tom, we only have one roll of toilet paper left’ across the hall, New England Patriots Quarterback Tom Brady

Super Intelligent Local Dog Only Enjoys Looking Back On Memories And Looking Forward And Planning Future, Couldn’t Give A Fuck About The Present MomentSuper Intelligent Local Dog Only Enjoys Looking Back On Memories And Looking Forward And Planning Future, Couldn’t Give A Fuck About The Present Moment

January 21, 2019 | Dave

My Say: Donald Trump. (Does That Count As Political Commentary or Satire?)My Say: Donald Trump. (Does That Count As Political Commentary or Satire?)

January 20, 2019| Dave|

MY SAY By Brian McGarnickle We don’t often get into politics here at Why You Do It, but these are things we perfectly understand: • That the

Musicologists Still Perplexed Why Queen’s Nonsensical ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’ –Containing Such Obscure, Moronic, Completely Not Relatable Lyrics As ‘I Don’t Want To Die, I Sometimes Wish I’d Never Been Born At All’ And ‘Nothing Really Matters… Nothing Really Matters To Me’– Still Popular TodayMusicologists Still Perplexed Why Queen’s Nonsensical ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’ –Containing Such Obscure, Moronic, Completely Not Relatable Lyrics As ‘I Don’t Want To Die, I Sometimes Wish I’d Never Been Born At All’ And ‘Nothing Really Matters… Nothing Really Matters To Me’– Still Popular Today

January 20, 2019 | Dave

My Say: Yeah, I’m A Divorced Man And Yeah, I Know All Divorced Men Deserve To Immediately Be Tossed Into The Divorce Volcano Because They Are So Gross And Disgusting And Yuck, But Hang On, Whow There. Before You Kill Me By Hurling Me Into The Divorce Volcano, Hear Me Out, Because Although I Am Now Officially A Wretched Disgusting Garbage Human, I Still Have Some Other Stuff I Can Do And I’m Not Completely Useless to Society (By Dave Martin)My Say: Yeah, I’m A Divorced Man And Yeah, I Know All Divorced Men Deserve To Immediately Be Tossed Into The Divorce Volcano Because They Are So Gross And Disgusting And Yuck, But Hang On, Whow There. Before You Kill Me By Hurling Me Into The Divorce Volcano, Hear Me Out, Because Although I Am Now Officially A Wretched Disgusting Garbage Human, I Still Have Some Other Stuff I Can Do And I’m Not Completely Useless to Society (By Dave Martin)

January 19, 2019| Dave|

MY SAY By Dave Martin A month ago, my divorce was provisionally approved, making me a soon-to-be-divorced man and consequently meaning I deserved to be thrown into the

Peace declared between Israel and Palestine, ‘Fuck. What The Fuck Are We Supposed To Do Now?’ Declared Across Israeli NewsroomsPeace declared between Israel and Palestine, ‘Fuck. What The Fuck Are We Supposed To Do Now?’ Declared Across Israeli Newsrooms

January 18, 2019 | Dave

Study Confirms You First Person Ever To Be Going Through Whatever You Are Right NowStudy Confirms You First Person Ever To Be Going Through Whatever You Are Right Now

January 17, 2019| Dave|

NEW ORLEANS, LA–Citing remarkable findings just released today, research scientists at LSU have confirmed that you are the first person ever to be going through the thing you’re going through

Russian Government Announces Annual Parade Through Moscow To Honour The Great And Unmatched Length Of Leo Tolstoy’s BooksRussian Government Announces Annual Parade Through Moscow To Honour The Great And Unmatched Length Of Leo Tolstoy’s Books

January 15, 2019| Dave|

MOSCOW, RUSSIA– The federal government of Russia has officially called an annual parade through the streets of Moscow to celebrate the wondrous word length of Leo Tolstoy’s books. Tolstoy, arguably

Ironically, 23 Ironic Years On From Its Release, Alanis Morisette Ironically Reveals ‘Ironic’ Was Written Ironically Not Ironic On Purpose, Confirms It Just An Ironic Series Of Ironically Un-Ironic Mishaps And 0% Ironic Coincidences That Lacked In Irony And Were Not IronicIronically, 23 Ironic Years On From Its Release, Alanis Morisette Ironically Reveals ‘Ironic’ Was Written Ironically Not Ironic On Purpose, Confirms It Just An Ironic Series Of Ironically Un-Ironic Mishaps And 0% Ironic Coincidences That Lacked In Irony And Were Not Ironic

January 15, 2019| Dave|

My Say: What Do You Mean ‘Why Is The Mona Lisa Famous?’ Because It’s Famous For Being Famous For Being Famous. Idiot. Fuck You. (By Marshall McWilliamson)My Say: What Do You Mean ‘Why Is The Mona Lisa Famous?’ Because It’s Famous For Being Famous For Being Famous. Idiot. Fuck You. (By Marshall McWilliamson)

January 12, 2019| Some Guy|

My Say By Marshall McWilliamson Geez you piss me off sometimes. What do you mean by ‘Why is the Mona Lisa so famous?’ Goddamn you’re an idiot

I am Dan Reynolds of Imagine Dragons, Type Anything At Me!I am Dan Reynolds of Imagine Dragons, Type Anything At Me!

January 11, 2019| Some Guy|

Hey Why You Do It, I’m Dan Reynolds, I’m a musician and okay, shit, here we go.. Type Anything at me ***This is a mediated chat. See the rules for

My Say: Oh Man, I Just Knew Today Was Going To Be Shitty As Soon As I Went Downstairs To The Basement First Thing This Morning And Found My Dad Sitting Ominously On A Couch Next To A Bloody, Lifeless Mountain Gorilla He Had Presumably Just Murdered (by Edwin Murray)My Say: Oh Man, I Just Knew Today Was Going To Be Shitty As Soon As I Went Downstairs To The Basement First Thing This Morning And Found My Dad Sitting Ominously On A Couch Next To A Bloody, Lifeless Mountain Gorilla He Had Presumably Just Murdered (by Edwin Murray)

January 10, 2019| Some Guy|

My Say By Edwin Murray God damn it. This morning I woke up at my usual time of 7:15am and as I do every morning, headed downstairs to grab my

Love is in the Air: New Dating App Hurry The Fuck Up Launches, Designed Specifically For Singles Too Busy To Use A Dating AppLove is in the Air: New Dating App Hurry The Fuck Up Launches, Designed Specifically For Singles Too Busy To Use A Dating App

January 8, 2019| Dave|

Listen up all you go-getting singles, because this is going to be music to your ears! Created specifically for those young singles who are just too busy to not only

Local Man Completes 625th Page Of His First Ever Tolstoy Book And He Can Conclude: ‘People Right. Tolstoy Long. But Tolstoy Good. Tolstoy Long, But Tolstoy Good. Tolstoy Long. And Tolstoy Good.’Local Man Completes 625th Page Of His First Ever Tolstoy Book And He Can Conclude: ‘People Right. Tolstoy Long. But Tolstoy Good. Tolstoy Long, But Tolstoy Good. Tolstoy Long. And Tolstoy Good.’

January 5, 2019 | Dave

Instead Of Turning Her Into A Pillar Of Salt, How Else Had God Considered Punishing Lot’s Wife For Looking Back At Sodom?Instead Of Turning Her Into A Pillar Of Salt, How Else Had God Considered Punishing Lot’s Wife For Looking Back At Sodom?

January 3, 2019 | Dave

Having fled Sodom less than 8.2 seconds before God smoked that wicked, rancid shithole to the ground, Lot, his two daughters and his wife legged it across the desert like