Dave Martin

Ahhhh Spain, land of vibrant culture, rich tastes and loud noises. It’s a country of great complexity and also simplicity in the noises that are emitted from it. But don’t let all the noises stop you from enjoying the eclectic range of flavours that make this country so interesting. 

Today, we´re featuring a wine that comes straight out of the Catalunya region. This is a part of Spain synonymous with passion, pride, excessive noise, and not only talking about noise but also wanting to be noisy about being loud.

Spain is known for its complex and full-bodied reds, so it gives us great pleasure here at Why You Do It to feature the apparently ‘red’ wine labelled as Bonus, which comes from the selection you’ll find at the back of your local Catalan Aldi store, next to the eggs and the cleaning products. So, let’s see how it stacks up against the finest wines in the world!

Tint: Not sure. 

It is red. When you pour it into your coffee mug or scull it straight from the box and it spills down your neck a little bit, you can tell it’s something resembling a red colour. So let’s call it red wine.

Aroma: Okay.

The smell of this wine takes you back to a simpler time–a time when you were back in Aldi looking for the cheapest, rankest wine you could get, because, whatever, all wines are the fucking same, right, so who gives a shit.

Body: ?

When you put this wine into your mouth and then swallow it an instant later, you definitely know you are not drinking chocolate milk or some other dairy product. So, even though I have no idea if sommeliers would rank this in their top five all-time favourite wines, one thing’s for sure: this is something that, if it´s not actually wine, then it at least resembles wine!

My Rating: 7/10

This wine has a lot of things you look for in a red wine: it is a liquid; it is red; it is cheap and its taste doesn’t make you question whether it’s actually wine, based on your past experience of putting other wine into your mouth hole in your life.

So, we are going to give this ‘wine’ a 7. It’s a perfect companion to any cripplingly money-poor period in your life, or even to a party which you don’t give a shit about, or about whoever the fuck is hosting the fucking thing, because you just wanna get the fuck out of there asap and watch the Barça game, because it kicks off at 8:45pm.

¡Salud!