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If you want to make a deep connection to another human, what are some better questions to ask them than ‘what do you do?’ or ‘How was the weather on your holiday?’?

A good question can open up someone to you much more colourfully, interestingly and honestly than a funny story or anecdote can.

So instead of the boringass regular questions you may get asked over the course of your week, try these when you’re with someone you actually want to get to know, to try and understand truly what it’s like to be them (from The School of Life):

  • What do other people not understand about you?
  • What do you worry about in the middle of the night?
  • Which three adjectives capture important things about you?
  • When you feel upset, how – ideally – would you like to be comforted?
  • What’s the best way to break up a relationship?
  • If you were braver, what would you be doing with your life?
  • In what ways is your family especially odd?
  • What have your learnt about yourself in the past year?
  • What do you look for in a very close friend?
  • What kind of character trait that you don’t possess do you find attractive in others?

A Deep Dive into: The absurdity of knowing (& understanding) other people [pt.1] – How is it possible to know what it’s like to be someone, if you can never ever actually ‘be’ them?