Dave Martin | Sports + stupidity ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Due to the spread of Coronavirus, if you’re a sports fan you may be feeling a large soccer ball/baseball bat/basketball backboard-shaped hole in your life these days. But whow there, we have some good news! Not only are the football leagues of Belarus, Nicaragua and Burundi still in action, but hang on, hold your Asiatic Ibex goats, because one more rickety sports…
* Publisher’s note: Following publication, we have realised that Round 2 of the Belarusian Vysheyshaya Liga actually kicked off last night with FC Energetik BGU Minsk’s 1-0 victory over Rhu Brest and Torpedo Zhodino’s 1-0 defeat of Belshyna Babruisk. We are deeply sorry for this error and would like to sincerely apologise to you, valued reader. Belarus is Europe’s last dictatorship. Hilarious, right?!…
The 90s were packed full of NBA greats that, had they played in any other era (and a pesky fellow by the name of Michael “The Chicago Mailman” Jordan hadn’t been around), would’ve had a trophy cabinet full of NHL championships. But alas, that wasn’t the case. Here are the top 5 NBA stars from the 90s to never win the Stanley Cup. 1. Charles Barkley…
BROOKLYN, NY–Yikes, this is going to make you think twice before you think you’ve got someone’s name right. With the whole basketball world poised to hear New Orleans Pelicans select Duke University’s Zion Williamson with the first overall pick in the 2019 NBA draft, Executive Vice-President David Griffin made a massive boo-boo and said “Zack” instead of “Zion”, therefore selecting 28-year-old Massachusetts…
With the first ever competitive match being played way back in 1646, cricket is one of the world’s oldest sports. And with thousands and thousands of matches being played across all ages and levels since then, there’s also been countless rain delays, causing everything from interruptions in play, to abrupt anti-climactic endings or even cancellation of countless scheduled matches that…
BARCELONA, SPAIN–Much like the quarter finals, local Spanish man, Dave Martin is definitely not hoping at all that Barcelona absolutely rend Liverpool at the Camp Nou tonight, preferably 3 or 17 nil, but then lose on aggregate so he’s not forced to choose between dropping a fucking asston of cash on a Final ticket or not going at all and…
BARCELONA, SPAIN–By driving an inflated object into a netted area with their legs and heads more times than Levante at the Camp Nou tonight, FC Barcelona can have a shiny silver thing given to them for free because they have a more quantitative integer in a particular statistic than other similar organisations, and this will make them yell and smile at each other,…
BARCELONA, SPAIN–Oooh. 6 NBA Championships… 6 NBA Finals MVPs… 5 Regular Season MVPs… Big Fucking Deal. How many times has MJ bought a 45g jar of unground black peppercorns only to realise at home it’s not ground and since he doesn’t own a pepper grinder, then attempted to take it back to the store, over a week later, after having…
BARCELONA, SPAIN–Local Spanish Man Dave Martin is not at all hoping that FC Barcelona lose their quarter final tie against Manchester United at the Camp Nou tonight. Although unlikely, with the hosts already holding a 1-0 advantage after an away win in Manchester last week, this local Spanish man is wholeheartedly, with 100% of his being, hoping for a win…