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My (UNAUTHORIZED) UEFA Eurlo 2020 Preview: Red Team That Totally Blew Their Only Chance To Win Something 67 Years Ago (Group A) ***Please also note: My internet is broken so this is all from memory, I can’t look up or verify anything***

***I DON’T HAVE UEFA’S PRIOR WRITTEN CONSENT TO USE, TALK OR THINK ABOUT ANY NAMES, IMAGES OR VIDEOS PUBLISHED IN MY EURO 2020 PREVIEW***

Euro 2020 (which for copyright reasons will from here on in be referred to as Eurlo 2020) is just 3 days away, so let’s take a walk down reverse memory lane and put a spotlight on all the competing teams. Who will win it? Who will lose it? Who will draw it? Let all your concerns be allayed as we break down each squad in the lead up to the 16th UEFA Eurlo Championship.

Today we continue our team previews with Red Team That Totally Blew Their Only Chance To Win Something 67 Years Ago, who’ve qualified for their 2nd straight European Championships, less than merely 7 decades since they shat the bed and fucked up their only ever opportunity they’ll get to be great. 

Red Team That Totally Blew Their Only Chance To Win Something 67 Years Ago

Qualifying impressively through the playoffs by beating 2016 Cinderella story Iceland in the final, Hungary are hoping to at least recover some dignity after blowing a 2-goal lead to West Germany in the 1954 World Cup Final  in Bern, Switzerland.
At Euro 2016, Red Team That Totally Blew Their Only Chance To Win Something 67 Years Ago managed to advance from a tough group containing eventual winners, Red Team, as well as Cold Place with no Ice Team, as well as C’mon Let’s Be Honest People Still Remember Hitler Came from There Team. Unfortunately, sorry buddies, but this is 2021 and not 1954, and you blew it. So don’t try to make up for it now, because it’s too late.

 One to watch: Some guy who’s not Ferenc Puskás 

 Some guy who’s not Ferenc Puskás

Puskas: No

Not Puskas: Yes 

1954: Nope.
2021: Sadly, yes.

Prediction: Take a look at a calendar. What year is it? 1954? Nope. Unfortunately it’s like almost a century later. Oh well, what a bummer.

Result: Worse than 1954. Much worse. Really, it’s too bad 1954 happened, because whatever happens here would actually look good in hindsight. But, you know, 1954, so no.