Dave Martin

***I DON’T HAVE UEFA’S PRIOR WRITTEN CONSENT TO USE, TALK OR THINK ABOUT ANY NAMES, IMAGES OR VIDEOS PUBLISHED IN MY EURO 2020 PREVIEW***

Euro 2020 (which for copyright reasons will from here on in be referred to as Eurlo 2020) is just 4 days away, so let’s take a walk down reverse memory lane and put a spotlight on all the competing teams. Who will win it? Who will lose it? Who will draw it? Let all your concerns be allayed as we break down each squad in the lead up to the 16th UEFA Eurlo Championship.

Today we continue our team previews with 4-time World Champion and 1968 European Champion, Blue Team That Should Be Green, White And/Or Red Team.

Blue Team That Should Be Green, White And/Or Red Team

Blah blah fucking whatever. Everyone knows that Blue Team That Should Green, White And/Or Red Team are going to be around at the pointy end of the tournament, so whatever, who gives a shit. There’s nothing else for me to say.  Boring. Send it, k? Cbf, See ya bye.

One to watch: Some young player who’s probably fucking sick, but just going to be mega fucking annoying and make you fucking hate the game of football if it’s against your team

Some young player who’s probably fucking sick

Football: Correct

Good: Okay!

Throw-ins: To be Confirmed

Salary: Yes

Celery: No

Sluggery: Unknown

My prediction

This young and revamped Blue Team That Should Be Green, White and/or Red Team are expected to reach at least the quarter finals, but a final appearance may be just beyond them. That being said, they’re no doubt going to do everyone’s head in and, if they’re playing your team, make you fucking detest the sport of football. So just to piss everyone off, they’re probably going to win it all. Dirty dogs. The dirty dirty dogs. 

Result: Losing finalists (if they want to be cunts and just give everyone the shits), second round (if they can, for once, just be cool for one Goddamn tournament)