Dave Martin

As it’s Halloween, it’s the perfect time for this is a I-haven’t-decided-how-many part long form examination of the one emotion that drives most, if not all, of our major life decisions – Fear.

Here’s: Part one – The Fear of Death,
Part two: The Fear of Dying Alone
Part three: The Fear of Being Alone
and Part four: The Fear of Not Being Successful

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One evening when I was about 9, I went shopping with my parents at the local shopping centre. And when I walked past an Advanced Hair hair replacement clinic for Men, I remember saying to my dad, ‘When I go bald, I’m definitely going to get Advanced Hair.’

I’m not afraid of dying. Or getting old. Or really much else. But my greatest (and easily most irrational) fear, all the way since that night 25 years ago, has been to go bald. And I will. Maybe even soon.

But whatever, fuck it, it’s hair, strands of keratin on top of your head, and losing it’s the natural course for the body. And not only that, losing it will mean I have one less thing to worry about losing (as the only thing that can happen after having something is losing it).

Nature doesn’t give even half a shit about physical beauty. What matters though is your attitude.

There’s a reason the evolution of humans lead to our eyeballs being where they are – so that anything actually dangerous or important to us, we are able to see. So if a hippo is about to attack you, you can see it. But try looking at your face or your head of hair without a phone or reflection. So, Hippo attacking you = important, the hair on your head, the wrinkles on your face, the birth mark on your cheek = not important.

We all start to physically look shitty as we get old, but that doesn’t mean that we become less attractive. In fact those that embrace their changing body and face can actually become more attractive, because you become a role model for those who aren’t as strong, who care way too much about it.

What are you afraid of that’s out of your control that you’re scared of? Do you have an irrational fear?

Some people say bald men are unattractive and ugly and look stupid, but there’s also proof that shows that bald men are seen as more confident. Why? Because they don’t give a fuck about what people say about them. And they realise it’s just hair. And much like a lot in life, wasting time worrying about, lamenting or regretting things we have no control over is a waste of effort, time and life.

However, there is a caveat to that. A bald man can still be attractive if they own the fact that this is me and I don’t give a fuck if I have hair or don’t. But someone who’s bald and miserable because their confidence and self-image is so reliant on strands of keratin atop their head, you might actually be inspirational for them. And that attitude goes for anything on our faces or bodies that deteriorates.

‘It’s strange that the things that I run from, are the things that completeness can come from’

And that’s why all day today, on Halloween, I look like this:

 

It looks stupid and fake, but nevertheless, the things that scare us the most are the things we most need to face. To live the best life possible and to understand what truly matters in life.