Category: News alert!!
Local Man’s Divorce Approved By Family Court, Immediately Thrown Into The Pit Of Disgusting, Divorced Garbage Humans For Rest Of His Miserable Life
QUEENSLAND, AUSTRALIA–A local man today had his divorce approved by the Family Court of Queensland and–not surprisingly–was immediately tossed into … More
It Unclear Whether Local Corpse Liked Her Own Funeral (Or Even If Thought It Okay)
SANTA FE, TX–Following a highly-elaborate service that cost over $11,000, it is not clear whether recently deceased and local corpse … More
What Else Was Neil Armstrong Considering Saying As He First Stepped On The Moon?
We’ve all heard the famous words, That’s one small step for a man, one giant leap for Mankind, but when Neil Armstrong … More
6 First Date Ideas That Aren’t Dinner & A Movie
You know the first date drill: Dinner, drinks and a movie. Boring! If you’ve met someone you’re into and can’t think … More
Myth Shattering: 93% Of Married Couples Report They Have Sex At Least 5,000 Times A Day
Forget all your misconceptions about married couples and how active (or inactive) their sex lives are, because this is going to shock … More
Ladies rejoice: Apple Unveils New Series 4 iBiologicalClock Apple Watch So Women Can Be Constantly Reminded Of Sole Purpose In Life And How Long Until Their Life No Longer Worth Living
All the ladies, put your hands up, because this is going to be music to women’s ears everywhere! Apple has … More
Lesson Learned: God Announces He Made Jesus Good Down Low In The Post But Bad At Free Throws To Teach Us The Folly Of Assuming That Just Because You’re A Beast In The Block Doesn’t Necessarily Mean You Can Always Finish The And-1
ZION, THE PROMISED LAND–Responding to inquiries as to why He purposely made Jesus bad at shooting free throws, God Almighty said … More
NFL Recommends Relaxing Use Of Helmets and Other Safety Equipment In Elementary School Football So Players Can Get Used To Life As A Pro Footballer, Living With CTE Much Earlier
Rad: 11 Awesome Calendar Dates That Only 90s Kids Would Have Been Totally Clinically Alive For
If you were alive and breathing and not dead or hadn’t yet been born on these dates, you are so a … More