MEXICO, ITALY, CHINA–Contrary to previously held beliefs, Chinese, Mexican and Italian Food is just referred to as “food” in each…
Man At Beach Bored Of Ocean Tide Going In, Out, In, Out and Just Doing ‘Same God Damn Thing, Over And Over, It’s Been Doing Since Fucking Forever’
Local Girlfriend Who Doesn’t Understand Herself Angry At Partner For Not Understanding Her
Recently Deceased Hardworking And Altruistic Black Garden Ant Almost Immediately Forgotten By Members Of Colony
Local Man’s Divorce Approved By Family Court, Immediately Thrown Into The Pit Of Disgusting, Divorced Garbage Humans For Rest Of His Miserable Life
QUEENSLAND, AUSTRALIA–A local man today had his divorce approved by the Family Court of Queensland and–not surprisingly–was immediately tossed into…
It Unclear Whether Local Corpse Liked Her Own Funeral (Or Even If Thought It Okay)
SANTA FE, TX–Following a highly-elaborate service that cost over $11,000, it is not clear whether recently deceased and local corpse…
What Else Was Neil Armstrong Considering Saying As He First Stepped On The Moon?
We’ve all heard the famous words, That’s one small step for a man, one giant leap for Mankind, but when Neil Armstrong…
6 First Date Ideas That Aren’t Dinner & A Movie
You know the first date drill: Dinner, drinks and a movie. Boring! If you’ve met someone you’re into and can’t think…
Myth Shattering: 93% Of Married Couples Report They Have Sex At Least 5,000 Times A Day
Forget all your misconceptions about married couples and how active (or inactive) their sex lives are, because this is going to shock…
Ladies rejoice: Apple Unveils New Series 4 iBiologicalClock Apple Watch So Women Can Be Constantly Reminded Of Sole Purpose In Life And How Long Until Their Life No Longer Worth Living
All the ladies, put your hands up, because this is going to be music to women’s ears everywhere! Apple has…