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Dave Martin

Dave Martin

Sports + stupidity ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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Category: Internet Explosion!!

HEARTWARMING! Some person somewhere just died for some reason and when told the news, people were saddened and couldn’t say enough nice things about this now-dead person, even though they’d never even known this person’s name, gender, or even that this person actually existed in the first place. WOW, TOUCHING!

This story will tug right at your heart strings. Someone somewhere just died, and despite approximately 99.99999999999999999% of Earth’s population … More

IT’S OFFICIAL!!! – Apple releases the new iPhone XS Max – ‘Everything you love just got necessarily fucking massive.’

Just when you thought the images on your screen were as life like and as fucking massive as possible, the … More

IT’S OFFICIAL: There’s Officially Nowhere on Planet Earth Left Where You Can Walk Outdoors. The Only Area Left on Earth Available for You to Walk In? A 2m x 2m Patch In Your Living Room.

Planet Earth has officially run out of any public space bigger than 2m x 2m where you can actually walk. … More

IT’S OFFICIAL!! The Weather Finally Snaps, Guns Down 35 (Killing 21) in Local Shopping Centre, After Being Called ‘Shit’ One Too Many Times

In today’s news, local natural phenomenon The Weather, 4.5 billion, has wandered into a local shopping centre with an AK-47 … More

planetas

Sigur Ros isn’t the only thing that makes anything you do seem more meaningful. Also, Los Planetas.

No matter what you’re doing (or have to do), if you put Sigur Ros on while you do it, it’ll … More

The Nike Slogan that didn’t make it.

One of my students in a nurse. And from where she’s from euthanasia or terminally ill (and sometimes not) patients … More

NEWS ALERT: IT’S OFFICIAL!! – Peace confirmed in Middle East after Pope Francis ‘calls’ for it. Moments later, Jews, Muslims, Christians, Sunnis, Shiites across region living in perfect harmony, singing, dancing, marrying each other.

On Christmas Day, Pope Francis made the customary annual address from the Vatican. In it, he said ‘the winds of … More

How to deal with the most awkward question there is

Ever been in this situation? — How the HOLY GODDAMN HELL do you reply to that question??? ‘What’s up’? or: or … More

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