The 2030 FIFA World Cup in Spain, Portugal & Morocco is only about 46 moons away (depending on your own set of lunar circumstances) and it promises to be a real doozy. World Cup history is a tale resplendent with stories of triumph against the odds, childhood dreams coming true and unsung heroes becoming legends. As well as dumb idiot losers, wanker fuck-ups and teams that are just total bullshit.
But how shall ye learn about these legends, losers and teams that are just total bullshit? Well look no further my wayward friend as I profile all 211 FIFA nations eligible for World Cup qualification. Today, I take a look at Lebanon, who are yet to qualify for a FIFA World Cup.
LEBANON
What’s a country gotta do to get a fucking win around here?
Nickname: The Cedars
FIFA Ranking: 115 (Sep 2026)
Qualified for World Cup Finals: Never
Best WC result: 2022: Lebanon reached Asia’s final round of 2022 World Cup qualifying and were still chasing a playoff place with two games left, before a 3–0 home loss to Syria in a match interrupted by crowd trouble ended their realistic hopes.
FIFA World Cup 2026 result: Eliminated in Round 2: Lebanon finished behind Australia and Palestine in Group I; a 0–0 draw with Palestine mathematically eliminated them before they finished with a 4–0 win over Bangladesh
WATCH: LEBANON — WHEEL OF NATIONS – FAFO: World Cup 2030 Weekly Wheel of Nations – pt. X – September 24, 2026:
Lebanon would sure love to just win ONE. Just get one win after all these years.
First there was the brutal civil war that involved ruthless sectarian clashes, massacres, bombings, assassinations and foreign military assaults on the country that cost over 120,000 lives and forced an exodus of over a million people. Then, the seemingly cooperative government made up of equal Sunni, Shia and Christian representation resulted in nothing but constant stalemates and perpetual cycles of incompetence, ineptitude and corruption, only destabilising the country further as each sect exploited the newly established form of governance for their own political and financial gains. Then the country suffered devastating retaliatory attacks by Israel in response to cross border raids by Hezbollah. Fuel started running out, and the country was plunged further into the international wilderness, eventually causing a economic collapse that the World Bank has described as ‘one of the world’s top 10 financial crises since the mid-19th century’ (and perhaps ‘top 3’). The electricity supply then basically disappeared, to the point that even those who had had to start using their own private generators to counteract the shortage couldn’t afford the fuel for them anymore. Then the wildfires. And in the last 5 years, the value of the Lebanese pound has plummeted 80%, making staples like meat and bread now unaffordable for many.
The banks also closed, taking people’s savings and retirement funds with them. And numerous COVID-19 lockdowns lead to swelling unemployment and reduced a record number of Lebanese to living below the poverty line. On top of that, the government’s ineptitude and constant upheaval, not to mention its mismanagement of resources and ineffectual recovery efforts have forced the Lebanese people to try sort out the country’s issues for themselves. And here’s the clincher, last year the largest ever non-nuclear bomb blast rocked Beirut after an illegally stored amount of ammonium nitrate in Beirut Port caught fire and exploded, tearing through the entire city. Over 200 people lost their lives, thousands of others were wounded and over 300,000 people were made temporarily homeless, after the explosion shredded the capital to pieces, razing large swathes of the city and reducing them to rubble.
Then the thing with the exploding pagers.
I mean, shit. Seriously, fuck me. Is just too much to ask to win one? Seriously, anything.
But guess what, yep you guessed it, they did finally get a win, because at FIFA Arab Cup Qatar 2021, Lebanon defeated Sudan 1-0 in their final group match. And even though they won it with a single own goal, and the match was a dead rubber (as they’d already been eliminated), that’s still one for our team–chalk that one up in the W column!
They also were expectant coming into the decisive match in qualifying for 2022 against Syria before they blew it bigtime and the game was suspended for 2 hours.
A recent highlight? NO? Well defeating Bangladesh in 2026 qualifying maybe float your boat?
Last three World Cup Finals
N/A
Last three World Cup qualification campaigns
2022 — Did not qualify: Lebanon have never reached the World Cup finals, with their Qatar 2022 bid ending in the final round of Asian qualifying, after their best campaign had them on the brink of advancing before THEY BLEW IT
2018 — Did not qualify: Lebanon missed Russia 2018 after being eliminated in the second round of AFC qualifying.
2014 — Did not qualify: Their 2nd greatest campaign took them all the way to Asia’s final qualifying round, but they finished fifth in their group.
One to watch: 2022 World Cup Qualifying (Asia) – BLEW IT!!!!
Shit. Come fucking on. With four games to go, The Cedars were well and truly in the hunt for the third place Asian playoff spot. Sure it’s no economic recovery or ascent out of an intractable humanitarian crisis, but fuck, seriously, at this point any hole’s a goal. BUT THEY BLEW IT 🙁
The highpoint: Really, any win these days (the Arab Cup ones weren’t bad)/just short of qualifying for playoff spot, World Cup 2022
Even though it came over lowly Djibouti, Lebanon did qualify for the FIFA Arab Cup 2021, and then at the final tournament, they beat Sudan 1-0. Not bad, I mean, a wins a win. And it could be argued that its most recent World Cup campaign for Qatar 2022, barring some disastrous collapses to Iran when leading 1-0 and against Iraq (ditto) then blowing it in final home game against Syria (in a match that was suspended, then abandoned, then completed, but you’d never know), was its best campaign yet.
And this was a moment of hilarious joy – this own goal:
And beating Bangledesh away is NOT BAD?
A sporting experience you’ve gotta go to that’s uniquely local and awesome (and doable): Sagesse vs Al Riyadi basketball
One unique natural experience to see/visit/experience: Qadisha Valley + Cedars of God
Hike through the Qadisha Valley, where cliffs, caves and ancient monasteries cut through one of Lebanon’s most extraordinary mountain landscapes, then continue up toward Bsharri and walk among the surviving ancient Cedars of God. It’s the Lebanon that completely destroys the stereotype of the country as essentially Beirut plus Mediterranean coastline.
One town/city that the locals love:
Batroun is my pick: an old Mediterranean coastal town where Lebanese actually head for summer weekends — beaches, old souk, seafood, bars, nightlife and its borderline obsessive relationship with lemonade. A recent local guide calls it one of Lebanon’s most-loved summer destinations, which is basically our test.
Food you’ve gotta have: Batroun
Batroun is my pick: an old Mediterranean coastal town where Lebanese actually head for summer weekends — beaches, old souk, seafood, bars, nightlife and its borderline obsessive relationship with lemonade. A recent local guide calls it one of Lebanon’s most-loved summer destinations, which is basically our test.
Food you’ve gotta have: Man’oushe
If a Lebanese person has been overseas for months and you ask what breakfast they want when they get home, man’oushe is an extremely strong answer: hot flatbread straight from the neighbourhood bakery, traditionally covered with za’atar and olive oil, folded and eaten immediately. I’m choosing it over hummus, tabbouleh and kibbeh precisely because this category is about home, not “name a famous Lebanese dish.”
A drink you’ve gotta smash: Arak
Arak, unquestionably for this category: Lebanon’s anise-flavoured grape spirit, diluted with water until it turns cloudy white and drunk slowly alongside mezze at long lunches, family gatherings and celebrations; Lebanese sources explicitly describe it as the national drink.
The Wedding Banger – Lebanon’s unofficial anthem: “Mabrouk” — Ramy Ayach
3 Legends
Sport — Wael Arakji: The face of modern Lebanese basketball: national-team star and FIBA Asia Cup 2022 MVP, representing the sport in which Lebanon has developed a genuine regional identity.
Music — Fairuz: This one isn’t close. Her music transcends Lebanon’s internal divisions to the point that academic work explicitly examines Fairuz as a Lebanese national symbol and a unifying cultural figure.
Culture — Khalil Gibran: Bsharri-born poet, writer and artist whose The Prophet made him one of the most internationally recognised Lebanese cultural figures ever.
🫠 FAFO Favourites:
Sport — Roda Antar: Former Lebanon captain and Bundesliga player who was central to that extraordinary 2014 qualifying run — including scoring the winner against Iran — and could explain why Lebanese football hasn’t translated the country’s sporting passion into a World Cup appearance.
Music — Yasmine Hamdan: Beirut-born singer-songwriter whose work combines Arabic musical traditions with contemporary electronic/alternative music; much more interesting for FAFO than simply chasing a giant Arab-pop celebrity because she can talk about Lebanon, language, diaspora and what Lebanese music actually sounds like beyond the clichés.
Culture — Nemr Abou Nassar: Lebanese-American comedian whose material has spent years picking apart Lebanese family life, diaspora, language, sectarian absurdities and national identity. For Wheel of Nations, that’s potentially gold: give him our Batroun/man’oushe/arak/wedding-song picks and ask “How badly have I misunderstood Lebanon?”
Learn the lingo & speak like a local!
