Dave Martin

This is a deep dive into the one word that may be more confused or have a greater subjective meaning than any other in the English language: Love. What does it really mean?
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When we (or you) tell someone ‘I love you’ what does it actually mean? Is it any of these:

• ‘I need you’
• ‘I can’t live without you’
• ‘I don’t have a purpose/personality without you as my partner’
• ‘I’m afraid of being alone/single and you’re the one preventing me from being that way’
• ‘I love that you love me (because maybe it’s the thing that helps/causes me to love who I am)’
• ‘The love you say you have for me (and/or show me) is the reason I live’

?

There’s a common theme among all those, and it’s that one person only thinks/feels/believes they are a complete person when they are with someone (despite the fact that those two things –only complete when with someone– are irreconcilably not possible). Perhaps the only way you can meet, connect with, let in, and then truly love someone is if you’re completely happy with who you are, content being on your own, and completely happy with the possibility of being that way for the rest of your life. Then and only then is when ‘love’ doesn’t cross over into ‘irrational need’ for that person, possession of them, repression of them (if their life goals don’t match yours, or negatively impact yours), or even a desperate clinging to that person out of fears for one of the scenarios mentioned above.