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Coming to America: US State Department introduces exciting new Drone Strike Condolence VISA program for those hoping to relocate to United States

KABUL, AFGHANISTAN–Historically, the United States has been one of the toughest countries for emigrants to relocate to. That has just changed today though, with the US State Department, together with the Department of Immigration and the Department of Defense announcing that they have just introduced a new pathway for foreigners to gain residency in USA.

Named the Drone Strike Condolence VISA, it offers an alternative route for hopeful emigrants to become US residents. While typically the process for US migration is costly, complex and fraught with a seemingly endless line of legal landmines, this new VISA program has no application fee at all, requires almost no filing of paperwork and is typically arranged in less than a second. There is just one principle criteria for successful application: the applicant is required to have his entire family horrifically strafed by a US military drone attack.

The pilot program has already processed its first successful application in Kabul, Afghanistan, granting US VISA status to a family following a fatal drone attack on civilians, along with a healthy financial starter package for them to kickstart their new life as Americans. The family will also be thrilled to learn that they now will have more disposable income than ever before as they suddenly have far fewer mouths to feed.

While critics of the new scheme claim that it still contains too much red tape, hopeful emigrants to the USA can remain optimistic as many more of the VISAs are expected to be granted in the future as the United States’ military presence continues to be bolstered around the world. Experts recommend that for those who live in a war-torn non-American territories with US resource interest, a successful US VISA and healthy reparation package may be coming their way sooner rather than later.