Guess what my fiends, I finally get my Spain driving license… FUCKING CRAZYYYY
Hello, how are you I am fine thank you, an d you? I am fine thankyou. And you? I Polish boy from Australia so English first language but now I am live in Espain now for over 7 years, so please be patience with me my fiend, becauase involuntary English deterioration occur in my brain region since live in espain, ok? (And also, my keyboard is c heap one and keys type weird, and also my eye doctor, after my eye surgeery in 2023 recommends looking at screen much less or never, so I not spend time doing bullshit proofreading). I like share my brain thinkings with you, of the lives in Espain, no? Okay, YOu listen me, I explain you! And dont forgetting to smash like button and subscribe to my email channels, my internet fiends!!
This is crazy after having got my license in Australia in 2001, driving all over the world then having to take driving license in Spain fro sctrathc, in Spanish, in brutal excruciating experience of depression, having to take theory exam in spanish, 30 questions of which can be 10,000 possible ones and them you can only get 3 wrong, and I passed first time!!
but then having to take practice exam and thinking this is the easy part… and in australia and usa, motor vehicle place is indoors wiht climate control, and you wait inside and not in freezing cold, with bathrooms and not just hope to see th car you need to go in and stop the driver… but here in spain yes, and this is where you must wait, if freezing cold, and abandoned building and squatters all around, and just most depressing experience you could imagine, or maybe you can imagaine if you live in third world country, but this supposed to be developed country:
ANd whole experience is like brutal surgery, or bad toothache… and have to do it through a school, and i do it with a school called “I’m 18 (Soy 18)” when I actually 43 year old, and need livcense to drive down to valencia for xmas to not have most depressing xmas alone at home, then when comes time to take practicall test Dec 3rd, i think this should be easy, just drive like you are confidemt. I think this formality… but minutes into test, turning I cross solid line, and mnot realise immediately but soon after I tuink oh fuck i think I fail. and then panic attack occur and about to faint on street and couldnt stand and was about to faint, body seized up and had almost mental breakdown screaming outloud in room with lorena, like so fucked up:
But then lucky I manage to get second exam before xmas, Dec 19, excellent. i should pas this time. BUT I drive over bus lane, and speed up to beat yellow:
and third time, now after christmas, Jan 25 I have THIRD exam, this time surely i pass, but this worst one of all… I creep slowly into pedestrian crossing a red light…
fk my lives… think about quitting, getting license through some illagal mafia way, doin it in Canary Islands… not sure, ready to give up, cause emotional and personal crisis:
and this crisis:
I thought this would be my tombstone:
But on 4th try, i come a bit close to cyclist, not do perfect reverse park and also make one turn too tight but, just as i comeing to end, the examiner say ok turn right next tiume you can (in spanish) and i see next right is no right turn, so ask “next right?” and he say yes, next right you can. and i notm take illegal turn that would ve fucked me up again, but the one after, first one i can, and i turn around the block, and look my fiends where this whole fucked up experience end!! At the place I fucking hateed and i wanted to die!!!:
I park car ok, teacher seemed happy.. and later i find out: FUCKING PASS.
Now this will be my tombstone!!:
In Empire State of Mind, Jay Z say “since i made it here i can make it anywhere’… ok yes you music megastar superstar and very good at musicmaking, but hey jayz, can you move to backwards as shit country figure out local shit pretty much on your own without any local friends or family, negotiate its BS beauracracy, get a national identity card, exchanged a jar of pepper at the supermarket in Spanish without a receipt, and get driving license from scracth in torturous fucked up beauracracy and wait outside fucked building (above) in rain and cold like refugee in another language driving around middle of a city like Bracelona?
I FUCKING PASS. NOW I CAN DRIVE. Take that shit Jay Z.
So there you have , my fiends, I can drive now,leave a comment on my email page where I should drive to next? ocean? next to wall? kit can be anywhere, I fucking pass my driving license in Spain, fuck ya!!!